Animals (4/10/09)

I'm house sitting @ the house with a cat and a dog, and also Ladymedic's dog is there too. I let LM's dog out to potty one night and the cat got out too. When I opened the door to let the dog and cat return they run into the house and behind them are more cats. They don't seem aggresive in any way other than how they barged into the house so I let them stay. They are all dark colored cats except for that one that was a red abbysian (sp?). This one was sortof a dark redish-purpleish-brown and long and pointy the was a siamese is. Awesome. Pretty cat.

I wasn't sure why these cats were running to the house all of a sudden. More were at the door trying to get in. I let them in and in runs another red cat. Oh wait, no, that is a fox. Shit! It's trying to eat the cats!

I manage to get the fox back outside. It only ate a few of the cats, including the red one, and a small white kitten that was on the porch waiting to get in. I feel guilty about that one. There was nothing I could do. I had to keep the fox out and the animals I was being paid to watch in.


..Goes to Jupiter to get More Stupider (4/07/09)B

The spaceship from Jupiter is round and can't fly very well. Or, maybe it isn't being steered very well. It sucks. It bounces around in the sky like a glowing retard. We get on it anyways. We go to Jupiter.

Why do we go to Jupiter? We hear they have coconut cake. That is why. We, sister and I, find ourselves in this hallway with extremely tall ceilings. There are doors leading to lecture halls that also have tall ceilings. Somewhere in a lecture hall on Jupiter is a fat lady with a cake and I want to find out which lecture hall it is in.

..Goes to College to get More Knowlege (4/07/09)A

I'm in this horticulture class and for the final exam we are to grow some random shit in a random place of the instructor's choosing. He takes us to what looks like a giant meteor crater in a desert and hands us a polaroid of a big purple dot. We have to go find our big purple dots out in the crater by interpreting the scenery in the photo. I can kinda see my dot in the distance on the crater's rim. I head over there.

I end up taking my soil-terrarium into a shed to work on it out of the sun and plan my exam garden. I think of what I can grow in it, and I come up with random household trimmings like a carrot top, a potato eye....etc.. I go back home to get these things (it's allowed).

When I get back I'm setting up my trimmings in the terrarium and getting the soil to the right moisture content and trying to figure out how I will keep the soil moist in the desert when I'm not there over the weekend. Another student is in the shed working too. Apparently their purple dot was inside the shed.


The Prostitute and the Gentleman (4/5/09)

An undercover detective enlists the help of a woman dressed like a hooker in his fight against crime in the city. She pretty much walks the street virtually unnoticed, and when she sees the bad guys doing whatever, she discretely hits a locator button and the detective and his back up arrive on the scene shortly.

One day she was going to put on some crazy whore clothes and fake eyelashes and crap, but when she want to her dressing room it was all gone. The FBI took it b/c it was too whorey. Whatever. She went out onto the street with her undergarments and a towel on.

Later she found a gang war, and when she hit the locator button the gangs noticed her and opened fire. She fired back with the locator, which is also a gun. She almost hit the detective.


My Grandparent's House (4/01/09)

I'm visiting my Tx Grandparents (yeah, both of them). It's some sort of family get together. I have this super huge list of things that I need to do in the next few days so I am trying to do them from there. My grandparent's house is weird. It looks like a strange amalgamation of Ladymedic's apartment's living room, NY Grandmother's house's top floor, and a giant furnished basement. It is awesome. In order to get my crap done for the next few days I needed to get to bed at a reasonable time. I go to one of the upstairs bedrooms to stake out a claim. My mother and sister are already in the beds in the small middle room. Twin beds, even. I can't share those with them.

I go down to the basement to take a look at what is around for beds. Holy crap the place is huge! Lots of bedrooms! They could rent them out if they wanted. I go choose one and try to make some phone calls. People are in that room already. Ok, so I choose another room. People are in there too, but there is an extra bed, so I can have that one. I go out to the middle of the basement to make my calls in peace. Suddenly a bunch of people start walking around in the basement. There are cousins and coworkers and SnBers. WTF? Some of them jump onto couches with thier laptops and Shush me so they can study. I start walking around the huge basement looking for a new quiet place to make my calls. At some point I find a bar, and not like a bar that is a pole, but like a bar where people drink, and there are a lot of people there. This bar does a brisk trade. I'm already in my pajamas, kinda tired, and really needing to get my shit done and make my calls. I need to do laundry too. There is no time for going to a bar.