Of course we come to this stretch of road where there is now a lake of unknown depth covering it. Dad tries to power through it and gets maybe 30 feet in before we stall out and start taking in water. I can feel it sloshing in around me in my seat.
Somehow we manage to back out of the lake and get back on the dusty road and we head back the way we came, hoping to find a detour.
He drives for hours top get to this store and soon we are in Texas of all places. Oh yeah, Dom was real gropey all the way there too. Never was an opportunity missed for a grope.
We meet up with my dad and sister at some point and we all get a suite at some hotel. Dom keeps rubbing into me while i'm trying to sleep. I hate that guy. I'm never driving anywhere with him ever again.
Something (unknown to me) happens and a backstep is ordered to correct it. Frank backsteps and does not contact his people at the NSA. They panic and send Olga, of all people, to find him. She backsteps too.
There is a room. I am stretched out on the floor on my tummy reading something. Olga finds herself in the room as well, also reading something, and she's not sure how she got there. A few minutes of her confussed silence later I ask her why she backstepped. 'Oh snap!' she must be thinking. Someone knows about this top secret NSA project. She goes to call the NSA people but finds that she can't because she's not 7 days in the past, she's somewhere in the future (and probably outer space. I am green and not human and awesome!). She puts 2 and 2 together and figures out that I took Frank and have done something with him. She brutally attacks me with knives. I avoid the attack with alien-ninja-like precision. I'm so cool!
I assure her that Frank is fine. He's recovering in some recovery tank. Backstepping damages your stuff. Makes you crazy and incomplete. She still wants to kick my ass. I continue to explain that backstepping is none of thier buisiness. Stuff happens all the time, who is the NSA to decide which events need to be fixed?
I go show her Frank, who is chilling in a healing pool of slime or something. Olga is relieved. I pack them back into the time ship thing and send them home to thier proper time period.
I have no clue why this secret agent wants to find me. All I can figure is that he wants to date me or something, because he called work and asked them if we, him and I, could do a special clothing project where we have to be naked together. Work said yes, which is stupid, and really none of thier buisiness.
I don't commit to anything with this guy and I go fishing for tuna. The tuna are caught in scoops on this boat rather than with nets. Occasionally other shit gets picked up in the scoops, like scarks and alligators. Sometimes the scoops close and cut those in half. It's really gross. One of the scoop loads comes up with a deep sea diver that just happens to be that secret agent guy wondering about that clothing project.
(I miss having a fan club)
The next day I go to my class and David Brin is totally there too. His hair was red. The class ended up talking about sci fi all day instead of whatever that class is about. I was comparing Babylon 5 to Star Trek.
Myself and some people go out joyriding and they want to go off road. It's been raining alot and there is flooding conditions on these shitty back roads. I see the water and I want to barf. It's all over the road. I don't care if it is an inch deep or 5 feet deep, the river owns it now and I don't want to drive through it.
Random scene change, I'm at a house (not mine) and from every window around the house I can see flood waters rising all around. It's like my own personal dooky-water hell.
Afterwards I went to a store and there is this really aggravating sales clerk. I guess he's trying to be helpful, but that usually is really annoying to me when I am shopping. I make note of his nerdy cuteness and leave the store.
A few days later I'm changing in my bedroom and the curtains are open and I can see across the street (this is in the old house). I see the sales clerk dude across the street. At his house. He sees me, he probably just saw me changing, and he waves.
I start getting away and she starts slashing at random passengers and yet the only person who seems to mind this is me. There is a struggle and my arms get all slashed up but I do manage to knock her out. I demand an emergency landing.
I need alot of stitches.
The passengers were gathered together afterwards for a debreifing of sorts. The gangster dudes who sat down near me were angry and sympathetic about my wounds but other than that no one seemed to care. I knew Demi was lurking in that crowd of passengers to finish the job.
Aqua Teen Hunger Force cared. I got them to hide me and also I made out with Master Shake (WTF??). When 4-story-tall Demi came to get me I was hidden in an invisiblity force field bathtub. She destroyed the house but I wasn't anywhere to be found.
She's such a bitch.
Another year or two passes and the leech reveals that it likes me, or at least the guy on the other planet who operates this leech likes me. He wouldn't mind following me around for many more years. So romantic (???). I asked him if I was ever going to meet him in person. Just then he transports in, dressed in goofy ass Shakespearean garb. We live happily ever after, for the next 6 years anyways. After that he was recalled to his planet.
I left for school and decided that I was going to update my address book. To do this I would need addresses and an address book. I decided to check at the random things shop at the mall attatched to school. Outside of the shop they had some sort of booth set up with a large planter that had a bush growing in it. The bush had black cherry looking things growing in it, and a sign encouraged you to try them. I skipped that and went into the store. They didn't have any address books, just shitty windchime and incense things. I walked past the cherry bush on my way out and I decided to try one. It was really good. I tried a few more. There was a kiosk set up nearby of candy products made from these cherries as well as just picked ones and dried oyt ones. The dried ones looked like large chili peppers. The candy was sold by the lb and I figured I could pic out a few things and then make it to class with enough time to look at those hot guy pics in my email.
Many of the candy choices were jawbreakers that were shaped like fun things like penguins, humpbacked whales, and starfish. I looked at all of them but nothing was really calling to me until I saw the chocolate covered ones. I got a few of the dark and the white, and then I took a few of the spicey and the asian style. It looked like some sort of shumai dumpling thing. I got in line to pay.
In my dream I am spinning this purple wool and this orange wool that I bought in December. They are going to go together. It's not as gross as it sounds. My spinning was coming out all patchy and lumpy and bad. The orange parts were fuzzed up and poorly done. It was a waste of wool.
I get dragged into thier room for some mostly unwilling 3 way sex. They are so nast.
I ended up sleeping for a long tme today. At some point I decide to get up and my lamp won't turn on. I can barely see. Dinner is on the counter and I need to heat it up but I can't see anything in the kitchen in order to do that. I'm freaking out.
Then I remember to open my eyes, and that my lamp works just fine if I actually turn it on instead of dreaming about it.
Random scene change to a big ass warehouse type place with obstacles for cats to hide behind. People are all over the place trying to catch them so they can adopt them. I work at this warehouse as a cat capturer. I come walking in with my arms full of like 6 kittens all ROYGBV (Fuck Indigo!) and shit and the people snatch them up. Novelty kittens are a hot seller.
Another random scene change and I'm in a board room with my dad and a bunch of japanese buisiness men. Some sort of buisiness deal is arranged (for kittens?) and we all file out into the parking lot to leave. They all pile into the car and with 3 people up front and 4 in the back there really is no room for me. I'm told they will be back after they drop some people off. Ok. I go roll around in the grass.
An overweight homeless woman wanders up to me and asks if I have any money. I give her $34, 6 Dr. Scholls shoe inserts, and some bandaids....Because I am an angel and that's what angels do. The music changes, and I looked at my watch and the movie (which is what this was...?) was almost over. The woman was so pleased with the gift that she parades her 3 small children out and her little boy shoots me. I start to die. The woman pushes her kids into the warehouse so my murderer will be easy to catch and she won't be investigated, and she runs her ass off with the $34.
Since I'm an angel I do a fancy time travel thing to go back to just minutes before she gets there. I arm myself with 2 machine guns (one for each hand), an invisble bullet proof suit from the future, and an 11" penis. I assume this is when I aquired one because I didn't have one before, and if I'm going to have one at all it better be a showstopper.
The homeless woman shows up asking for money and I whip out my machine guns and go after her. Damn! She also has invisble armor! I keep shooting anyways hoping there will be a hole in the armor. Then I see her kids and I start aiming at those little fuckers. The homeless woman sees the error of her ways and she takes her kids and leaves. Sweet. End Credits.
A preview is shown for the sequel to this movie, "The underage prostitute and the angel with the 11" penis". LOL! It won't do so well in most theaters.
I got it at some trendy store and it was the perfect tank top because it supported the stuff that needed to be supported and slimmed the areas that needed slimming. It was a red color that was kinda swirly and it was a thin fabric. It also had spagetti straps and could only be worn once before it would fall apart.
I was going to wear it to a convention that was going to be happening in Hartford that weekend. Cryozombie was going to be flying in to attend that convention, so was his best buddy, Michael Chiklis (you know, from 'The Shield'). I was going to go hang out with them.
My friends who were also going to the convention left earlier than I did, so I was going to be going there by myself. I loaded up the rainbow duffle bag with a few changes of clothing and toiletries so I could stay in the nearby hotel for a while. Packing for a weekend took hours.
I finally get to the convention late, and I missed the opening speaker, also Michael Chiklis, but that was ok. I located my friends. They were wearing costumes. MyDigitalis was dressed like Jason (the psycho killer), Sarizona was dressed like a princess in blue gowns, and SkullX was dressed like a pile of duffle bags. Hahaha what a loser! I left them after a bit to go try and call Cryozombie and to book myself a hotel room.
In the lobby of the hotel I ran across Karin, whom I work with at LLB. I said Hi and continued on as planned. As I am making the phone calls I look down to see that my rainbow duffle bag is gone, there is some non-mine duffle bag in it's place, and Karin is sneaking off with my duffle bag. I go get it back and scold her. This happens a few times more. The duffle bag isn't that great. My tank top is starting to disintegrate, so by now I have the straps tied in knots.
I can't seem to get ahold of Cryozombie, I guess it's because He doesn't have a cell phone.
Shortly after that I wake up and remember I have to go to work, so I get up to do that.
Some TSA lady was going to go out into the class 9 death storm outside to bring in some food. She was taking orders from the people in the terminal. I'm all like "Put me down for a cheeseburger. By "CHEESEBURGER" I mean that I want Cheese and a Burger inside a Bun. No condiments!!". Really though, I don't know what sort of burger joint would be open out there. It was like The Day After Tomorow and stuff with all that 1/2 inch of snow on everything.
Later on in my room in the old house (CT) I was using Sarizona's laptop computer, which I borowed to use in my old room. I hear my cat Sneakers in the hall way growling at something. Another cat probably. I go to open my door to let her in, and someone kicks her into my door. WTF? Some random cousin is in the hall kicking my cat? Bitch. I go use the laptop to blog about it while eating cake corners. Why are there even random cousins in the old house?
Later on Dad gets us (dad, mom, sister, myself, 2 random evil cousins, some dude, ..etc) all into the car to go to Arlen TX, which apparently isn't just a made up town in King Of The Hill. It has a museum in it. The car is so loaded down with luggage and people and is sortof cone shaped now. Evidently I was in a hurry and I only packed the computer. I had only the clothes I was wearing, which was a large tee shirt/pajama shirt with no underwear. Oopse.
I'm there in the car with Sarizona's laptop on my lap and I'm trying to get the touch screen to work. What a piece of shit it is, with it's non-working touch screen and it's big round heavy monitor. A random evil cousin, in a rare moment of friendliness, started talking to me about Churches Chicken, and asked what kind of service the comp got on this huge snow covered mountain in the middle of nowhere. Bad service, it turns out, I was using up Sarizona's free minutes like crazy, so I shut it off and stowed it.
Yeah, so there is this huge mountain we are driving across. It is covered with snow and ice, the roads are narrow and poorly marked, some of the roads go through people's bedrooms (and you can see thier socked feet sticking out from the covers), and there are strange UFO things in the sky (Marfa lights??). It wasn't fun. We get off the mountain and enter Arlen right at dawn. Yay? We park at the museum and as we are getting out of the car a random evil cousin pushes me. Okay...
The museum is dumb. I ask to go back to the car to make sure Sarizona's computer is hidden properly. It is huge and retarded with it's big ass round monitor and non-functioning touch screen. Also I wanted to get away from the cousins so I could talk about them to my parents. Problem is I wasn't to sure what they looked like so I have to be careful that nobody is around when I'm talking about them. This is imposible to do as Arlen Museum is a real happening place in the early morning hours.
Weird. Awesome, but weird.
Bigfoot returns to us wearing a tie and what looks like a buisiness suit that ripped apart when he tried to put it on. Weird. It is communicated to us that we are to fill certain roles in this house. I'm the wife, the teens are our children, the other woman is the maid. Also weird. With my cool futuristic outerspace powers I learn that this big foot used to be a man with a wife and 2 kids and a maid, but they all died mysteriously from broken necks, except for him, he was the victim of an experiment gone wrong. While helping the new maid clear off the table for dinner we discover the old maid's severed head. We probably needed to get out of there before we ended up the same way.
While dinner was being made I invisibly teleported to a neighboring house to telepathicly communicate to the owner that we needed like a lot of police and maybe some navy seals next door.
I return to bigfoot's house for dinner. I'm really hoping the cops get there before I have to preform any wifely duties with this guy. The teens are starting to freak out. The maid is already conspicuously absent. The doorbell rings and the man of the house, bigfoot, goes to answer it. It's all our neighbors coming over to say hi. Bigfoot tries to be a good host despite the fact that dinner is being interupted and stuff. The neighbors gather around him and stab him. He goes to the floor and dies. We are free.
If only such scenarios were possible.
Starts out early in the morning, still dark, as I walk to the bus stop to go to school. I get about half way there and remember that I'm a grown up, have a car, and would rather take the car to school. Plus then, since I'm a grown up and don't have to go to school, I can do stuff thats really, well Partially out of character for me, and call some guys and then hang out with whichever one calls me back. Sounded like a plan.
As these Adult High School dreams tend to go, I walk up to the school all angsty that I have to go, then realize that I'm all graduated and shit and don't have to do anything. I'm all like "I don't need to be here! I Graduated already, see! I'll go in through the out door if I want!" And I do, because I'm an adult. What are they gonna do? Suspend me? From what? My nipples? Whatever.
I'm walking down the halls getting ready to leave the school, since I am not currently attending it, and I hear my name spoken softly. I look around and see 2 gentlemen on the bench near the wall. One of the men is in a wheelchair and has a too-small quilt draped over what I can only imagine are his horribly damaged legs. He is the one who called to me, and he is smiling. I know these guys. I went to school with them. (Yeah, so for our purposes today I'm calling them not by thier IRL names) Dr M, the gent in the wheelchair, expressed his surprise and happiness that we crossed paths today, totally unexpected. He had some questions for me and they were all written messily on a yellow lined sheet of paper. Full name (I had to cross out the fully wrong name he had started to write for me), phone numbers, fav color, goals in life, other personal junk... Somewhere on the pad there was a scribbling that gave me the impression that he was really hoping to find me again. Romantically? IDK. To not shut any doors there, I left my email address on the sheet, big and obvious. We could maybe hang out later instead of be at school.
Dr M and his quieter companion Dr K had more buisiness for me but needed to discuss some stuff first, so I made my way down to the mall section of the High School (In my dreams High Schools are generally connected to Malls and Airports) to run an errand. I found some green beads that were low quality and over priced but they reminded me of the color quilt that Dr M had. Aww, I'm already obsessing over him.
I return to them like 20 mins later and Dr K has a buisiness proposition for me. Since I'm this big computer software mogul (?) or what not, would I mind terribly looking at these programs that they had with them. I was handed a cd keeper with all the disks in it. I began copying the programs to my computer, which I had obviously brought with me for just such a purpose, and all of them seemed kinda normal until I got to the weird disks. These disks had pictures and bar codes on both sides (i.e. not just on the top where the name of the stuff might be) and could only be uploaded by holding it up to the computer and letting the info transfer through the compter screen. Dr M didn't seem too happy about this part of the procedure. Actually, I was getting a Ringu kinda vibe from this weird upload method. I get through 2 of the double sided disks before Dr M leaps from his wheelchair, grabs the next 3 double sided disks, and runs like hell away from me. WTF? His legs work? I chase after his lying crippled ass.
Through one of the stairwell windows I can see him on the top of the stairs outside. Then he jumps. Shit! I go running outside to find him completely broken at the bottom of the stairs surrounded by blood. I run to him and there is really nothing that earthly medicine can do for him now but I tell a nearby priest to call for an ambulance. I kneel over him and I ask him why he did this. He replies that he could not let him (Dr K) do that to me, that I absolutely must not see the programs on those disks, and at least I'll be the last thing he sees. He dies. I back away in horror. The 3 disks he ran off with are nowhere to be found. As the ambulance crew approaches I instruct them to keep an eye out for 3 strange looking CDs and to hold them for me if they found them, but NOT to run them. They look at me like I have 3 asses. Whatever, I'm an adult.
I go back to the bench where Dr K was to tell him the sad news about his associate and also to destroy the disks and my computer. I make a big show of it too, walking up with the first 2 disks and breaking them in his face. His questionably evil plot was foiled. Next time he shouldn't use guys who are in love with me to try and hurt me. Dumb ass. I leave the shattered remains of my computer on the floor and I return to the mall to get a few things (maybe a new computer?). I'm going up and down the aisles looking for something and Dr K turns up. He's pissed of course. He asks me if I know what I have done. I really don't, I'm just going on some vague info given to me from a dying man. I tell him that my associate, and superior, Dr B, will be hearing of this and he's not going to be happy about it. Dr K narrows his eyes and says something along the lines of "Computer, save file Dr B...".I give him a dirty look and try to get away from him real fast. I have no idea what is supposed to happen when he says that but I can only imagine it had something to do with why Dr M killed himself to save me. He was probably victimized by it too. I run through the aisled filled with dread and then my fucking cell phone rings.
My actual phone, not a dream phone. So I will never know what the evil plot was. Thanks alot Supernintendo Chalmers!