Star Trek: Voyager (5/15/08)

The episode begins with the crew attending a party in this massive ball room. The alien spiecies seems really friendly. They are about 12" shorter than most humans and they are not really easy on the eyes, so it's a really good thing that they are nice. They are space rednecks.

They are really pressuring thier Starfleet visitors to try the cake. It is vaguely cake shaped, but it looks kinda weird, like it was made with atypical cake ingredients, or is vegan or something. It smells weird too. No one wants it. I take a piece but pick at it. It's bad.

The aliens reveal thier crazy ass plot, which is to capture the visiting crew members and eat them. There are no animals on thier world except for them. Everything is plants. My crew mates transport off out of the ball room. I fly away (I can fly).

We all think the episode is over until 3 (2 adult brothers and one tweener son) of the aliens transport aboard the ship to get us. Fortunately for us water is like sulphuric acid to them, and we have vast supplies of water and water guns. They come down the hallway, we make a stand and blast them with water. It has an effect, but they scream, shrug it off, and continue to advance. Lucky for me I can be invisble. The aliens will pop into a room looking for crew and I can ambush them. I got the kid really good. He's on the floor whining like a little bitch about his horrible chemical burns and his dad is all like "Why did you do that? He's only a kid?". I shoot him with water too. Bitches.

We kick the aliens back to thier ballroom. It breaks the ballroom. Apparently thier planet is a lush rain forest and the ballrooms are like giant hovering wooden crates (those fucking rednecks). In the forest there is another alien species that is way less redneck but still after a sentient source of meat. The ballrooms crashing to the ground will provide them with rednecky aliens to conquer and eat.

This weird mission is complete, and Voyager aims for earth and continues it's voyage.