We begin this story in the dining room of the old house. I see a cat under the table. It is fat. It is a tabby with black, red, purple, and blue stripes. Neat. How did it get in the house? Maybe it squeezed through this little opening in the sliding door? Someone must be missing thier fat technicolor tabby. I call our vet to ask if anyone knows anything.
Random scene change to a big ass warehouse type place with obstacles for cats to hide behind. People are all over the place trying to catch them so they can adopt them. I work at this warehouse as a cat capturer. I come walking in with my arms full of like 6 kittens all ROYGBV (Fuck Indigo!) and shit and the people snatch them up. Novelty kittens are a hot seller.
Another random scene change and I'm in a board room with my dad and a bunch of japanese buisiness men. Some sort of buisiness deal is arranged (for kittens?) and we all file out into the parking lot to leave. They all pile into the car and with 3 people up front and 4 in the back there really is no room for me. I'm told they will be back after they drop some people off. Ok. I go roll around in the grass.
An overweight homeless woman wanders up to me and asks if I have any money. I give her $34, 6 Dr. Scholls shoe inserts, and some bandaids....Because I am an angel and that's what angels do. The music changes, and I looked at my watch and the movie (which is what this was...?) was almost over. The woman was so pleased with the gift that she parades her 3 small children out and her little boy shoots me. I start to die. The woman pushes her kids into the warehouse so my murderer will be easy to catch and she won't be investigated, and she runs her ass off with the $34.
Since I'm an angel I do a fancy time travel thing to go back to just minutes before she gets there. I arm myself with 2 machine guns (one for each hand), an invisble bullet proof suit from the future, and an 11" penis. I assume this is when I aquired one because I didn't have one before, and if I'm going to have one at all it better be a showstopper.
The homeless woman shows up asking for money and I whip out my machine guns and go after her. Damn! She also has invisble armor! I keep shooting anyways hoping there will be a hole in the armor. Then I see her kids and I start aiming at those little fuckers. The homeless woman sees the error of her ways and she takes her kids and leaves. Sweet. End Credits.
A preview is shown for the sequel to this movie, "The underage prostitute and the angel with the 11" penis". LOL! It won't do so well in most theaters.
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